Chapter 19

He tried his hardest in the next two weeks to ignore the nanny but she made it damn hard to do so, seemed she was constantly bringing Blake out into the living area, and sometimes he wondered if she wasn't doing it on purpose! She even decided the living room was the perfect place to teach him to walk!  It wasn't that he didn't love his son, he did very much, but he looked so much like his Mama that it hurt to look at him, and he didn't think he could take that kind of pain.

Two weeks later she announced that Saturday morning that they were ready to go to the park with him, and a short walk, or long walk...that is exactly where he found himself.  Paris suggested he take Blake over to ride on the animal springs and before he knew it Elijah was having as much fun as Blake.  He had forgotten how good it felt to laugh!

After that week it seemed every time Elijah turned around she was ushering them all out of the house for one of her "outings"  he never knew where it would take them, there were movies to watch, games to go cheer for, quiet lake picnics.  One thing he did know, he could never be properly morose when he was on them, somehow he always ended up smiling, and by God he even sang Wheels on the Bus with her to Blake's delight!

 Elijah didn't know what was happening, but each day it seemed a little easier to get out of bed, and every day it seemed he felt more and more the desire to spend time with his son, even something as simple as playing with his block with him brought a smile to both their faces.

Somehow in between caring for Blake, and writing books she managed to wiggle her way into his life.  First it was simply him joining her for dinner each night, or a nice walk with her and Blake around the neighborhood. Soon he found himself seeking her out for opinions on his latest book.  More and more she became a part of his life.

It all started innocently enough, a simple pillowfight...nothing romantic in that, how was he suppose to know how it would end up...

With her in his arms, and his lips pressed against hers, it felt so right then, so amazing like a wall had fallen around his heart and sunlight was flooding into his very soul.

The next morning the feeling was gone, and dread replaced it, what had he done, why had he thought he should do that, it was the last thing he needed in his life.  Love hurt, especially when it died, and he didn't think he could ever stand a hurt like that again.  She was going to have to go, that was all there was to it, she had to leave.  He could take care of his son himself.

She had gotten out of bed that morning unsure of everything, he had already been firmly planted at the computer to avoid as much awkwardness as possible.
He didn't waste time, as soon as he noticed she was awake he broke the news, " You're umm, services, are not longer required, I'm sorry Paris, but well I'm ready to raise Blake myself, and what happened last night, it was a mistake, it's not fair to keep you here or let you think that it will ever happen again. "

He watched her face fall,   "I see, well I would say that I'm glad I could be of service, but it would be a lie.  I'm glad you are ready to care for Blake though, that much I am glad of.  I'll just pack my stuff and be out of here by this afternoon."

He stood there as she walked to the waiting taxi, and wondered why it seemed a cloud had fallen over their house. "She's just the nanny, nothing else, and we don't need her to be happy!"